My Parents’ Mistakes

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My childhood was a bombardment of memories and occurrences. My parents are divorced, but that had little to do with the life that I lived as a child. My mom and dad made mistakes, as all parents do…but there were certain things that imprinted on me in a way that made me strive to do so much differently with my own children.
First off, I must say that my sister and I lived very different lives in the same household. She was involved in many activities, had many friends, parties, etc. I was the loner. I wanted to be in extracurricular activities, but was told that the ones that I was interested in were too expensive. I had few friends, as I felt that I saw the world in a more mature perspective than they could have fathomed. Parties rarely happened for me, as my parents put little importance on equality with my sibling.
My children will live differently. I get up early each morning, even on the weekends. In part, this is to have some “coffee time” to get me going for the day. The other aspect of it is planning: I plan our day out, with activities, meals, extras, etc. I stay home all day to bust my ass to get things done, in order for my kids to have my full attention when they get home from school. I put them in extracurricular activities all the time, letting them choose…yet letting them know that there should be something that they do besides school. I keep a close eye on events in our community and extras we can do at home on Pinterest. My meals are not quick put-together items, like my parents concocted. Instead, I have a monthly meal plan to focus home-cooked food around whatever we have planned.
My parents showed little affection toward me and were often wrapped up in their own problems. They failed to see the importance of my dreams and instead directed me toward a future that they had already hoped I would strive toward. This drove me away from them, and I often felt alone and misunderstood.
I let my kids know I love them, each and every day. We have this game that we play, before they go to bed: “I love you more than…” And, there’s always a long list of crazy things that our love for each other cancels out. I know that my boys are two very different people. Jesse has a love for animals and academics, while Kayden has a passion for building and the outdoors. I will never make them throw away their dreams.
There is much more to be said regarding my upbringing versus that of my own children, but there is little point. As an adult, I am proud of where I have come from because it made me into the mother that I am today. The past is a sour subject, but I am still on good terms with each of my parents. I am sure that they were unaware of their shortcomings, though watching the way that I parent my own kids probably brings to light much of their mistakes. We live in a different time now, with different knowledge. I am sure that, no matter how hard I try myself…my children could someday make this same post.

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