One Thing I Would Change About My Spouse


November 12, 2007 began my new life. After watching my marriage end, moving back in with my dad, and starting over as a single parent to Jesse, I thought I had forgotten to smile. And then Quentin came along. November 12th was the day that we officially began dating. We moved in together a couple of months later and were expecting a baby a short time after. Quentin put a ring on it that summer, and we were married on January 2, 2010.
I’ve always said that Quentin saved us, and he absolutely did. I can’t imagine where I would be now, if it wasn’t for his hard work and willingness to take on this “premade family.” He gave us hope, when I never thought I could believe that there was good in the world again.
But, like all of us…Quentin is far from perfect. The main issue that we deal with is communication. The ability to speak through a problem and effectively listen to responses is Quentin’s downfall by a longshot. He finds himself at a loss for words when there is an important issue to discuss and will struggle with that for hours or even days. I, being a writing enthusiast, cannot fathom how this happens. I become extremely frustrated because words are of the utmost importance to me. Quentin has no difficulty speaking about his work, which I often tell myself he married right along with me. But, he struggles with personal conversation. When it comes to listening, Quentin has the same difficulty. When we do finally speak about something that is a problem or even just something that needs done a certain way, he will believe that he heard me say an entirely different thing so that he can run his own agenda. Again, this infuriates me to no end.
I’m not sure what has been the cause of Quentin’s communication issues, but I strongly believe that his upraising has been the leading factor. Quentin comes from a father with narcissistic tendencies and a mother who avoids negativity. From what I understand, each of Quentin’s siblings has the same difficulty with discussing problems so I am fairly sure that their parents played the main role in creating this lack of communication.
Quentin and I continue to work on communication, as any married couple should. He understands his shortage in this skill and is slowly working to overcome the obstacles that he personally deals with. I love my husband dearly, but this is the one thing that I would love to change about him. Do any of you have a similar struggle? What is one thing that you would change about your spouse?


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