You owe me, Life.


            I’m stuck here in the darkness again…this darkness that has haunted me for so long.  I am still searching, and it becomes so much more difficult with the passing time and my continued imprisonment.  The cards that we are dealt in life most certainly form the existence that we are glued to.  And, it is the hope for better that keeps us searching.

            Life, I am waiting for that light.  Give me so much damn sunshine that I could not avoid it if I tried.  Give me reasoning and drive, to solve the problems that plunge my soul into that awful place. 

            Life, don’t make me invisible.  I need to see the world, but I want the world to see me just the same.  Don’t keep me locked up.  At the same token, give me love.  I’m not talking about run-of-the-mill, everyday marriage.  I want surprise and excitement.  I want to be swept off my feet, kissed with fireworks, and never let go.

            Life, I want adventure.  Make each day magic, with a promise that there is so much around the corner that I have no choice but to throw away the past.  Give me tons of memories and moments that I can use to rebuild that time that I lost in the dreaded darkness. 

            Life, take away my guilt and regrets.  Don’t chain me with should-haves, could-haves, and rethinking.  Give me confidence and pride.  Teach me to shine in today and not to fall with yesterday. 

            And, when all this is over, Life, make this all worth it.  Help me to understand that there were reasons for all those terrible moments on the ground, when there was no one who knew how to reach for me with hands that could support me the way that I needed.  Show me that there was a purpose for the cards that I was dealt.


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