Since I can remember, I have made a conscious effort to record my thoughts and life events in some sort of journal. Some have been in book form, while others have been on social media or even presented themselves in my poetry and other writing. I consider all of these methods to hold a significant importance because it is my way of eternalizing my life. Once written, my thoughts and experiences are shared in a tangible manner, outside of my own existence. Whether it is for my own record or to actually show to others, that moment in time is frozen for review.
I went back to one of my journals today. It was the written-in-a-book sort of journal, with random passages from 2007-2011. Though I am not in a position to share a number of these posts in a social media setting, I came across one that begged to be repeated. This post took place on June 9, 2008, but the significant event took place on June 4, 2008. This was the day that I found out I was pregnant with my last child. The post details my elation and the way that I broke the news to Quentin:
Quentin and I are having a baby! I’m so excited. I took a pregnancy test on Wednesday, and I really didn’t expect it to come out positive…but it did! I started shaking when I saw it. I took the test before Quentin and I went to the barn, and Quentin didn’t even know I took it. I was going to wait and tell him on Father’s Day, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to act normal because I was too excited. So, when we got to the barn…I gave him a hug and told him I love him. He said he loves me too. I asked him if he was sure, and he said yes so I pulled the pregnancy test out of my purse and handed it to him.
I have to chuckle at the way that this post cut off before Quentin’s response. Let’s just say that he was in shock. Time passed; we got over the worries; and we completed our family with Kayden. This tiny, 5 year old bundle of energy has always been full of surprises…and it means the world to me to have opened the journal and put my pen to the paper that day.