Second Chances

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I believe in second chances.  I believe that we are sometimes thrown tragedies that we don’t deserve, and we have every right to try again to build the life that we have dreamed about from the start.  On January 2, 2010, I formally took my second chance.

When I married Quentin, I was scared to death.  I took a risk that not only involved me, but my two children as well.  Jesse and I had already been through one disaster of a situation with his biological father, and Quentin and I had brought Kayden into the world a little over a year into our relationship together.

I had done this before, and I knew how marriages could fail miserably.  I stood at the altar in that beautiful dress, thinking of all of the horrors that my first marriage had brought.  I had thought that my decision was the best then, as my unborn son wriggled around in my belly.  I was very wrong, and my life spun out of control soon after I took that chance.  Now, standing next to this man that I had known for years…I had to wonder if he knew.  Did he realize that I was putting my existence in his hands, along with that of these two wide-eyed boys?  Did he know how powerful this moment was, as we readied ourselves for our vows?

We took hands, turned toward each other, and my eyes met his.  I was shocked to see the tears, as I struggled with my own. The time to speak had come, and I pulled through.  I relived in those words our beginning, the life that we were already building, and my heart’s connection to the man that stood in front of me.

Quentin’s vows came, and he fumbled through those words.  My soon-to-be husband let his feelings run down his cheeks at that altar, in front of everyone who knew us.  This man’s vows went out to me, to our children, and to the future that we were fighting for.  Quentin saw everything that day.  He saw me.  He saw us.  He saw our kids.  He saw all these people who were behind us.  And, he saw forever.

It’s been five years since I took my second chance.  Life has not been easy on us, but Quentin is beside me.  When I worry or get scared, I remember that day…those eyes…the warm hands in mine.

I believe in second chances.

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