My Peace

Lead the way;

I won’t resist.

Guide me through that door.

Seal the deal with a single kiss,

As I feel this pain no more.

Hold my body tightly,

Bring me to our bed.

The covers are my hiding place

From a world that feels so dead.

Pull me in against you;

Whisper that I’m okay.

When you struggle to find the answers,

I only need you to stay.

This doesn’t have to escalate.

We needn’t go there tonight.

Just lie here hand in hand with me…

And join me in this fight.


This is Me Screaming

Staring at an empty screen, with eyes that are glossy and a soul that is throbbing–I knock back the drink in my hand in silence.

This is me screaming.

We go to bed…Well, I stay on the couch. You encourage me to follow you.  I roll over.

This is me screaming.

I get up, time and time again to wander an empty house without a sound. I grasp for an understanding, a purpose.

This is me screaming.

Tears pour down my cheeks, as I pace to wind down the thrum of terrors that play like a movie inside my head.

This is me screaming.

I finally walk the steps to the bedroom we should be sharing and stare into the darkness at your blanketed figure. I try words, but my mouth won’t move.  I am frozen where I stand, taking on the damage around me.

I force myself to turn and take the stairs back to the cycle that awaits me each and every night.

This is me screaming…and you still fell asleep.