To Kill a Wild Mind

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You can’t hold down a wild mind,

Or you’ll kill that person inside.

You can’t move toward your vision

And just haul them along for the ride.

You can’t reach toward your own success

And bury that other’s dreams.

You can’t rise while they hide away

And call yourself a team.

 

Extinguish that fire,

And you’re bound to smell the smoke.

You can’t tape back together

What, all these years, you’ve broke.

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Before Spring’s Touch

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Sunshine guides me, a welcome friend;

For those rays have hidden too long.

The naked branches brush the wind,

As they sing their tussled song.

Frozen ground, my boots do find;

The stiff grass leads my way.

I taste the air surrounding me

And appreciate this day.

To enter the trees, I follow the path—

So heavily guarded before.

The woods have grown so sparse now,

As they lead me to their core.

There is no set destination;

My mind is now at ease.

I stop to feel the magic

That has hidden in these trees.

The leaves, they may be missing…

But, they’ve allowed the sun to shine—

To dance and shimmer in frosted land,

In only this special time.

Spring will find its way again

And beckon all the green,

But I have had the privilege

To catch the in between.

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WRITE.

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Secluded in this room, with the screen and keys in front of my eyes…

I will myself to enter the world that I have sought so desperately.

With every ounce of my subconscious, I fight against the release that I know I crave…

For entering it means facing the entirety of my thoughts.

There is such force in that world that I thrust myself away from it in day-to-day life,

Only to feel its tugging and twisting at my fingertips.

This will never disappear; the aching will only grow stronger until I reach this desk–

Fighting myself. Fighting the truth.  Fighting those words.

They’re coming. I’m here.

WRITE.

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The Man in the Garage

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Thank you for changing your brakes that night…for greeting me with a smile when I came in.

You turned the music down when I needed it, but weren’t afraid to crank that volume and hand me a beer when you saw that look in my eye.

Thank you for showing me fun, without a thought of what was to come between us—for being that friend that I had remembered.

Thank you for the heart-to-heart, grabbing my hand in that car, and then allowing me the silence to hear the questions in my head and the thudding of my heart.

We drove literally with no purpose and symbolically toward our future that night…and I felt speechless too.

Thank you for not allowing the night to end and continuing through the doors of that garage alongside me.

The volume resumed, the talking subsided, and I joined you under that car for a staggering first kiss.

Thank you for telling me I was beautiful and making me feel hope again with tagalong kisses and warm hands, but still being the stand-up guy to part ways with me for the evening.

I will never forget our adventure, the very start of this life we would live together.  You were the one who came to the garage that night.  And, for that, I could never be thankful enough.

Please Know…

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When I finally stopped forever,

And called the end by name…

Please know the words were bitter,

As my heart was being slain.

When I met your gaze so coldly,

Like I could look right past your tears…

Please know that I was fighting myself,

For I shared your pain and fears.

When I shook your hands away from me,

Like I couldn’t stand their feel…

Please know they never lost their warmth;

And I knew that their fire was real.

When you told me all that I meant to you,

And I brushed off your words…

Please know that, though the years would pass,

They’re the only thing I’ve heard.

When I turned my back to walk away,

And my steps would seal our fate…

Please know that at that moment

I felt everything but hate.